Mastering Negotiation: Plan, Play, and Win Without Burning Bridges

Israel and Hamas, Trump and Xi—we are surrounded by
examples of Negotiations, both good and bad. Whether it’s geopolitical, life-saving measures, real estate transactions, or simply business, there are ways to negotiate that don’t burn bridges or result in image problems. Let’s discuss before, during, and after the negotiations, and how you can plan for success.

Before we start, though, let’s talk about WHY you negotiate. Sometimes the situation is crystal clear. Negotiating pricing, closing costs, and closing dates are part of the process when buying a house. Sometimes you are faced with a situation where you SHOULD negotiate, or COULD negotiate, but don’t. We are often conditioned to accept business practices at face value because they have become institutionalized. Past practices do not mean you can’t negotiate and improve your situation. You have a responsibility to yourself and your organization to negotiate. 

For example, conversations with distributors and their supply partners indicate the following: Most believe that their customers rarely negotiate with them.  Instead, they believe customers are straightforward and that purchasing agent challenges to pricing, delivery, or other portions of the sale are simply statements of fact.  Pause here and re-read that. Consider that it is not unusual for the purchasing agent to possess Certified Purchasing Professional (CPP) or Certified Purchasing Professional Manager (CPPM) credentials.  A major portion of the requirements for those positions is ongoing negotiation training.  Also consider, what would be the harm in negotiating those requests, aka statements of fact, around pricing, delivery, etc.? Should you be conceding valuable items like price adjustments, special payment terms, or free services without gaining something in return? Or, instead, should you pause and consider the potential upside of negotiating these requests? Negotiation, as we’ll explain in a minute, does not have to be shady, slimy, or compared to your local used car dealer. In a nutshell, it’s good business to place a value on what you do and how you do it.  

Now that we have established the why, let’s move on to the HOW.

Before: Know what you really want to accomplish and what your desired results are. Prepare a list of the Must Haves and the Nice to Haves. Make sure everyone on the negotiating team agrees and knows what is what—the must haves you need for the negotiation to be successful. And this is an important element of planning—add in a “throwaway” item to your list. This is something you will ask for in the negotiation that you are willing to give up. Why? Adding in an item to concede sets a tone for a true negotiation, give and take, with both parties willing to give up an item. Plant that concession ahead of time, as part of your prep, and, again, make sure the team knows what that item is. Don’t give it up immediately, but keep it in reserve for when things get stalled. 

Have a win-win mindset. If you go into the negotiations wanting to grind the other side into the dust, you will make an enemy. Assuming this is another department at work, or a customer, or a supplier, you WILL have to deal with them again in the future. Allow them to save face, maintain their professional and personal dignity, and allow for a future together. Humiliating someone is never a good idea, and doing so exposes your own insecurities and lack of professionalism. 

During: Politeness with a Poker Face needs to be your game plan. TRY to remember negotiations are not personal. Both parties are trying to achieve their goals. Try not to take things personally and try not to make it personal in your comments. Good manners will go a long way in keeping the negotiations civil, and to keeping the negotiations going. It’s really hard to be rude to someone who is polite to you, and it ends up making the other party look like a Neanderthal if they are rude.  

A poker face is your friend. Try to keep your facial expressions and body language neutral. You don’t want the other team to easily read your reactions. This can undermine your ability to negotiate your Must Wins. Managing your emotions is always key, especially during negotiations. Some people may try to get under your skin, get you off balance, or upset you, pushing you to make a rash, emotional decision. No matter what, stay calm, cool, and collected. 

Caveat: Behaving in a professional, civilized manner does not equate to being a doormat. Remain firm on your Must Haves. This is important to ensure your negotiation is successful. Be prepared to walk away or call for a break. Sometimes walking away or putting negotiations on hiatus will give the other party time to reflect. They may return in a better frame of mind to truly negotiate.

There's no re-negotiating,
even in the Wild West

After: Once an agreement has been reached, don’t try to
change things, add things or re-negotiate. This is called “bad faith” negotiating and can sometimes put you on shaky legal ground and moral ground. As mentioned earlier, you may have to negotiate with the other party again in the future and you want to maintain trust and integrity.  Good practice is to thank the other party, follow up with everything written down clearly and concisely, and do what you said you would. If you committed to a stock rotation, send the RMA. If you committed to 11 paid days off, update the employee handbook. Follow through on your commitments. 

Should the other party not do so, you have the moral high ground, the ability to look yourself in the mirror, your reputation will remain solid, and if you end up back at the negotiating table, you will be in a position of strength. Let’s assume both parties are ethical and keep their word. If the other team does not, you now have a data point about how or if you should do business with them in the future. If you even consider not following through on your commitments, you run the risk of losing future opportunities and damaging your reputation.

How you negotiate matters. It impacts your future. If you want future negotiations to be successful, take the time to prepare, stay calm and professional during the negotiation, and honor your commitments. 

Food for Thought: Have you refreshed your sales team on the art of negotiation?  Do you need support training or refreshing your team on negotiating? If so, give us a call. On important deals, it has been proven that an outside party can deliver an unbiased view of the overall deal. If you find yourself negotiating and want to discuss the situation, give us a call. We can help and it costs nothing to talk shop with River Heights Consulting.

Desiree Grace is an advisor, consultant, and mentor with 30+ years as a senior leader in the electrical
distribution and manufacturing sectors. Desiree leads and supports special projects for River Heights
Consulting. She builds brands, grows revenue and motivates teams, facilitates strategy and execution, and offers special expertise in helping international companies enter the North American market.  Experience with Fortune 100 companies, private start-ups, and mid-market businesses enables Desiree to help a variety of B2B organizations improve market share, revenue, and profits. She is a sought-after speaker for topics such as professional development, sales leadership, industry trends, and team leadership and motivation. You can connect with her at www.linkedin.com/in/desireecgrace.

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