Self-Control: Your Leadership Superpower

Leadership Qualities: Keep Calm and Carry Lead On.


By Desiree Grace

 

“Control your emotions and actions,” said Chad Williams, a former Navy SEAL, while discussing the importance of self-control in leadership. I couldn't agree more. A leader sets the tone for their team, whether they choose to fight, flee, freeze, or, even worse, panic. There is tremendous value in emotional self-discipline and keeping calm, even in the most challenging circumstances. It’s not easy, but it is achievable.


We’ve all seen this popular poster, created in 1939, to keep the British people motivated when under threat of air attacks. The situations we face are not quite as dire, but the point remains. Let’s talk about three ways you can keep calm and demonstrate self-control when dealing with challenging work situations.

Imagine an important customer is involved in a tense negotiation, and the situation escalates, raises his voice, pounds his fist on the conference room table, and makes derogatory comments about one of your colleagues. If you respond by matching his volume, pounding your own fist on the table, and resorting to insults, the situation will likely worsen. However, if you maintain a calm tone, manage your body language, and remain professional, you will probably see the situation begin to de-escalate. By doing so, you also set a positive example for your team, illustrating what professionalism and self-discipline look like.

If you are leading a team, and the unexpected happens, they will take their cues from you. Let’s say the samples don’t make it to the trade show. You can panic, yell at someone, or spend lots of money on expedited freight. The better response would be to keep your cool, adapt, and develop an alternative plan that you share with your team: Engage in conversation, take copious notes, and follow up with the samples in the next 30 days. The team will build their AQ (Adaptability Quotient), and have respect for you, their leader, who kept calm. Later, of course, you determine what happened to those catalogs, so you don’t suffer a repeat.

Sometimes you must leave your emotions at the door. For example, you got some bad news a half hour before walking into an important client meeting. Emotional self-discipline means you put that aside and focus on the client and their issues, dealing with the bad news after the meeting. This takes practice and a clear set of priorities. You have to prioritize the things you can control—like your attitude and your focus with your client. Demonstrating self-control can often turn a bad start into a good ending.

Leaders develop emotional self-discipline, as well as the ability to adapt quickly. These are the soft skills that separate mediocre managers from true leaders. To paraphrase Rudyard Kipling, “keep your head when all of those around you are losing theirs.”  What lesson and skill can you cultivate? Keep Calm and Carry Lead On.

 

Desiree Grace is an advisor, consultant, and mentor with 30+ years as a senior leader in the
electrical distribution and manufacturing sectors. Currently, Desiree is the General Manager of Flex-Wind North America and an associate with River Heights Consulting. She builds brands, grows revenue, and motivates teams, facilitates strategy and execution, and offers special expertise in helping offshore companies enter the North American market. An experienced professional who enables win-win outcomes for organizations and their partners, find her on LinkedIn at www.linkedin.com/in/desireecgrace.




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