Tacos, Tinsel, and the New Sales Guy
A Conversation with Santa Claus
Every December, I carve out a little
quiet time to talk with my North Pole pal, Santa Claus. Please note this is not
the cheap department-store imposter, but the honest-to-goodness Jolly One.
Despite his age and high-cholesterol diet, Santa remembers names, recognizes
patterns, and isn’t afraid to point out bad habits. He knows exactly who’s been
working and who just looks busy.
This year, we agreed to meet
somewhere neutral:
No workshop
No sleigh
No pesky elves
Just tacos
So there we were at my favorite
spot, Rudy’s Tacos, just a block from my East Davenport office. We slid into a
booth after long days, me locking up River Heights Consulting, Santa still
smelling faintly of peppermint, plastic pine needles, and retail exhaustion.
“Hard day?” I asked.
Santa nodded.
“You wouldn’t believe how many people ask for things they aren’t ready to
take care of.”
I smiled. “That sounds familiar.”
Santa took a bite of his taco and
leaned back.
“You know,” he said, “I still remember some of the new salespeople.”
I nearly choked on my tortilla chip.
“You remember salespeople?”
He gave me that look, the one
that suggests I should know better.
“I remember everyone who shows potential,” he said.
“And I remember the ones who confuse activity with progress.”
I pulled out my notebook. Old habits
die hard.
“Funny you mention that,” I said. “I
wrote a whole book about new salespeople called The New Sales Guy Project.”
Santa smiled.
“I know. I skimmed it between flight checks.”
He wiped his hands with a napkin.
“Let me ask you something,” he said.
“Why do so many new salespeople think organization is something they’ll ‘get to
later’?”
“That’s one of the biggest
problems,” I said. “They’re eager, likable, and willing, but scattered.”
Santa nodded.
“I see it all the time. They start with good intentions.
Then they lose track of customers.
Promises.
Follow-ups.
And eventually… credibility.”
He paused, then looked me straight
in the eye.
“Frank, if I ran my operation the way some new salespeople run their
territories, Christmas would be canceled by December 12th.”
That one hurt…because it was true.
Santa leaned in, lowering his voice.
“Here’s the first thing I wish every distributor would teach a new salesperson:
Your job is not to sell things.
Your job is to manage commitments.”
I wrote that down twice.
“When a customer asks for
something,” Santa continued, “they don’t want
enthusiasm.
They want reliability.
They want to know you’ll remember what you said you’d do.”
He tapped the table.
“That requires systems. Notes. Discipline. And yes… sometimes a CRM.”
I nodded. “You’d be surprised how
many salespeople think a CRM is optional.”
Santa laughed.
“So is the Naughty and Nice list, until you ignore it.”
As he finished his third taco and
took a swig of Arctic Lager, Santa grew reflective.
“I worry about the ones who are told they’re ‘naturals.’”
Nearly choking on a fresh jalapeño,
I asked, “Why’s that?”
“Because they stop learning,” Santa replied.
“They think charm will carry them. Charm gets you in the door. Process keeps
you in the account.”
That line felt very North
Pole-worthy.
“In my experience,” I added, “the
best salespeople aren’t the smoothest. They’re the most consistent.”
Santa nodded.
“Exactly. Consistency beats charisma every time.”
I asked what Santa looks for in a
new salesperson’s first year. He didn’t hesitate.
- Do they prepare before calls or wing it?
- Do they write things down, or trust an ironclad memory?
- Do they ask good questions, or just talk?
- Do they follow up, or hope everything works out?
Then he added one more:
“Do they understand an inside salesperson isn’t an assistant, but a
partner?”
That earned a nod as I dipped
another chip into the Christmas-inspired mango sauce.
A
Message for Distributor Leaders
Before we left, Santa stopped. The
smile faded. This wasn’t about rookies anymore.
“If you hire a new salesperson and
don’t give them structure,” he
said,
“you didn’t hire a salesperson… you adopted a problem.”
Then, more quietly:
“New salespeople don’t fail because they’re lazy.
They fail because nobody showed them how to win.”
As we stood to leave, Santa pulled
on his coat.
“I hope those new sellers you wrote about got organized,” he said.
“Some of them had real potential.”
Santa headed back toward the noise
of the North Pole toy shop. I headed home and back to my notes, already
thinking about how many distributors needed to hear this conversation.
Whether you’re delivering toys or
building customer trust, the rules are the same:
- Show up prepared
- Keep your promises
- Get organized early
- And maybe grab a taco and think it all through
If you ever find your way to
Davenport, Iowa, I’d be happy to show you the very booth where Santa and I sat.
River Heights Consulting helps
distributors turn good intentions into repeatable sales execution.
If your new salespeople need structure, systems, and a faster path to
credibility, let’s talk ASAP.
TL;DR
Selling isn’t about charm; it’s about managing commitments, staying organized, and following through. Santa agrees.
About
the Author
Frank
Hurtte is an industrial distribution
consultant, author, and relentless advocate
for sales discipline. He helps
distributors develop salespeople who don’t just “look busy,” but build trust
through preparation, process, and follow-through, no sleigh required.
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