The Art of the Ask

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The Art of the Ask

A Distributor Channel Marketing Moment
🕒 3 min read


By Desiree Grace

Does your pre-teen daughter ever greet you with a hug? If so, like me, you know she wants something. I have to give her points for effort and leveraging affection as a potent negotiating tool. While that only works in our personal lives, there's much to be said for the art of the ask.


I recently received a letter from a customer demanding "your very best pricing for our new distribution center." There is so much that was wrong with this request.


1. I did not know the person sending the letter.

2. No conversation, text, or introductory email preceded the demand.

3. Nothing reciprocal was mentioned, such as increased purchase volume, displacement of a competitor, or even preferential treatment during their next planning session.


I had to wonder if the woman who sent the email was fresh out of college, having barely passed her Negotiation 101 course, or if she had simply had a bad start to her day. Perhaps she had a flat tire on her way to work that morning.


Did she get what she asked for...er, demanded? No. Did I even reply to said email? No. Did I forward her email to someone who could help? Well, yes, because I am a professional and I still want to work with her employer. Not that I wasn't momentarily tempted to delete the email. I am human, like the rest of us. The request, however, did not land at the top of my "To-Do" list.

Three months later, she circled back. This time, she'd done her homework. She introduced herself, explained the strategic importance of the new distribution center to both parties, and outlined how the partnership could create mutual value. We negotiated fair pricing, and today, that customer is one of our strongest partners. Negotiation transformed a relationship.


When your email asking for something reminds the receiver of a feral cat, you have a problem. There is a better way to ask.


Here are three ways to improve your approach:

1. Butter up the person on the receiving end of the ask; take a lesson from my 13-year-old (I cannot believe I say that) and be nice. Explain the reason behind your request. Introduce yourself. Thank the other person for their time. It's wise to be polite.


2. Offer context and build understanding. Consider a short Teams or Zoom call to explain why you're asking. If additional information would be helpful, share it. Context transforms a demand into a conversation.


3. Consider the other person's perspective and offer them something in return. Perhaps the new distribution center will provide access to new customers or new markets. It could be something small, but always consider the WIIFM (What's In It For Me). There is a human on the other end of the email, and it helps to remember that.


Pro tip from my teenager: She knows that leading with what you want doesn't work. Leading with who you are and why you're asking does. If a 13-year-old can master this, so can you.
None of this is rocket science. If my teenager can manage it, so can someone in Supply Chain. With apologies to the cat people out there, even my dog knows how to turn on the charm and get a table scrap.


Next time you want something, put a little thought into the art of the ask and consider implementing these three steps. Even if you don't get 100% of what you ask for, you'll get something. The receiver won't be tempted to hit "delete." Instead, they'll reply, and the real negotiations will begin.


Ready to transform your team's negotiation skills? Does your supply chain team struggle with winning conversations? Whether it's supply negotiation, customer relations, or internal buy-in, negotiation skills drive results. River Heights Consulting specializes in training supply chain professionals to move from single-digit win rates to sustainable partnership building. Let's help your team master the art of the ask. Reach out to discuss a customized training program for your team today.



TL;DR

Better negotiation outcomes start with respect, context, and reciprocal value. Before asking for something, introduce yourself, explain why, and show the other person what's in it for them. This simple three-step approach transforms demands into conversations, and conversations lead to deals.




About the Author

Desiree Grace helps supply chain teams stop sounding like feral cats and start building
partnerships. When she's not writing about the art of asking for what you need, she's observing her teenager's superior negotiation tactics (primarily the strategic use of hugs) and reminding her colleagues that there's a human on the other end of every email. You can find more of Desiree's insights on supply chain strategy and sales psychology at River Heights Consulting's blog.










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